i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
