So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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