So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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