she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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