Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Non-Jews are for practice
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
