First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
