Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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