I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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