I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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