well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
