Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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