This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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