I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
