He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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