Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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