OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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