So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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