youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
farters have to be the big spoon...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
operation have a gay friend backfired
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
