White coat. Heels.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Non-Jews are for practice
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
