then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize