Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
