i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
