apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
