around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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