I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
