my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
