And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
