guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize