Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
