fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
