her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
