People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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