pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
