I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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