I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize