dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
