whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
