The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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