Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
