last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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