I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
