so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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