at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
