He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
