Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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