their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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