you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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