We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
