I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
