Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
