youre lurking in front of me
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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