I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize