she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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