I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
