Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
